TheToxin

FOOD

2010-11-05T07:13:00.000Z

It's 6:40 in the morning and I haven't got a wink of sleep.

Well, we can safely say that I've oficially become a creature of the night.
Darkness really comforts me, somehow.

But I don't want to talk about darkness for now.
Let's just say, what I want to talk about now, at 6:40am on November 5th, is FOOD.

Yes. Food.
Don't laugh.
Well. Laugh if you want to.
I would probably be 'WTF?' if I were you. Hah.

Moving in with my new roommate, I've been living the life of a glutton.
No joke. We have snacks every night. Mostly unhealthy stuffs.
Potato chips, bacons, fried chickens, and the list will go on.
I'm happy. Yes. For now.
Until I go home, listening to Mom's daily comments, 'You're so fat' 'Why the heck are you so humongous?' 'Seriously, we have an obese kid in the family (exclamation mark)' 'Are you really my kid? If you were, you wouldn't be so fat' and blah blah blah.

Oh well. I'm almost used to them anyway.
Almost. (_ _")

But anyway. Back to food.

I LOVE FOOD.
Any kind. Meat, Vegetables, Fruits, Cereals, and whatever else.

~suddenly run out of what to write~

I think after exams, my already short attention span has become non-existent.
I forget things more often.
I'm even lost in my OWN train of thoughts. (_ _")

I'm not fond of sweet things. Like cupcakes, artificial-flavoured icecreams and so on.

And seriously. Those decorations on cupcakes frustrate me.
Well, the reason simply is that being the idiot that I was, I don't know whether those bloody PINBALLS were edible or not.

As I accidentally put one in my mouth (along with the cupcake, of course =.=" I'm not much of that kind of idiot to purposely eat things I'm suspicious of), I had to go through the mental trouble of whether 'to spit or to eat'.

For those of you who still live in the cave like I used to be, they are edible (_ _").
So much trouble for making edible things look inedible.
And have I mention the fact that they are unbearingly sweet?
Guess I did.

Shhh. The sun is killing my eyes.

Back to cupcakes again.
Well. Even though I dislike eating them so much, they are so pleasing for the eyes.
They are probably made for the sake of viewing, not consuming.

I wish I had a camera.
To take pictures of those things surrounds me.
Capture them at their best moments, so that they will last forever.

You think it's cheesy? I think so too.

But I like it, so whatever. Hah.

Anyway. Goodbye for now.

Oh, I can't believe I'm turning 17 soon. Finally.

Crushes.

2010-10-14T06:17:00.002+01:00

Is it wrong to have too many crushes?

But again. Is it wrong, wanting to be anxiously happy?

I don’t fall in love often.
In fact, I’ve never fallen in or out of love before.
It’s a feeling that I probably cannot phantom in my whole life.
Having crushes are so much easier.

I like people who are so true to themselves. They laugh, they shout as they feel like it.
I like people who always put so much effort in what they love to do. It doesn’t matter if they become tired or hurt. They’re happy just following their dreams.
I like people who are true to others. They sulk when they’re angry. They crack jokes when they’re happy. They hug and kiss when they love.
And lastly, I like people with a little devilish side. Not because it makes them imperfect just as other human, but because that way we can have much more fun that way.

Maybe that’s why I ended up liking so many people.
I mean, there are a lot of good people out there.
As long as we’re enjoying our time together, I would not regret anything.
'What comes is better than what came before.'
After all, teenage years pass by rather fast. Love or such can wait –laughs–

Burbye.

Song in my head: Cat Power – I Found A Reason.

I've just realized

2010-08-24T16:53:00.006+01:00

... that I always write a new post when I'm supposed to do something else.


Like for this instance, sleeping.

But oh well, we should always sacrifice ourselves for a better cause (in this case, entertainment).

I've been writing a hell lot today. Starting with GP composition test. Then GP tuition comprehension. English English English. You make my hand tired.

Dear YOU. I promised you I'd become a better person. I guess I'm making some progress now, don't you think? 'Cause everyone is happy today. No one's upset... YET.

...I feel so bipolar.
Maybe it's just a part of growing up.
Or growing down.
If there's such a thing :)

Lastly, and most importantly, I want to make my point of view clear.
Money makes the world around.
Especially when a small part of the world (or in short, me) has none.

I was told I'm an evil person today.
So true. 
But both the person who said it and me are happy.
So I guess I'm not so evil after all.

Sorry if you have difficulties reading it.

By the way, Jenny, I miss you (: 'Jenny, you're killing me~'
By the way no. 2, The Clicked Five looks trashy now instead of boyishly good-looking.

That's about it I guess.

This is probably the fastest blog ever written.
For me.


WITH ALL DUE RESPECT.
ME.

SPOILER ALERTS: I'm not so interesting today.

2010-08-19T12:10:00.005+01:00

Yes.

Finally.
I'm back and writing again.
After so long.

This past few... months have not been exactly 'AWESOME' for me (you know the type of 'AWESOME' when you just feel like shouting 'AWESOME'?). Much thanks to my wonderfully disastrous grades, which, with all due respect, is that way thanks to the unbelievably lazy me; and all this relationships roller-coaster (old friends, new friends, and some other certain people). However, I'm still standing, so these are not enough to take me down... YET.

After a few months in JC, partially due to my rather good grades (yes, I have good grades too, just that it's not often) in GP, I suddenly find myself enjoying writing more and more. Sometimes I even write things inside my head. Well, all is well for the top art student in the science stream.

PAUSE. Do you even understand what I'm writing? Probably not.

The fun thing about this is that when those very few people who often visit my blog read this, each of them will only understand a fraction of it, and not everything. I may talk much about myself, considering the big portion of love I reserve for me, but I would never let my secrets uncovered.

PAUSE. Again. What else should I write?

Oh, right. Music. Lately I haven't been listening to a lot of new songs, rather than that, I've been listening to a lot of oldies. You know, all the slow jazz and sweet tunes and not too cheesy lyrics? And yes, I've been listening to instrumental, classics piano music. Like.. Fantaisie Impromptu, Fur Elise, Rachmaninoff's Op. 3 No. 2 and Op. 23 No. 5 etc. They are surprisingly enlightening. It's like a different world is drawn in front of you every time you listen to them. And the mood these tunes change when my own mood changes too. It is an undoubtedly heavenly (?) experience, sitting on the bus, staring at things and listen to classical music. Not to mention the part when I realized the school gate was closed and I was late for the 3rd time and thus decided to go back home rather than went inside just to get suspended from school.

I'd love to write more but this fatigue self tells me that I seriously need some sleep, so that's it for now.

Peace & not so much Love.

Me.

HOPE

2010-04-17T23:41:00.003+01:00

Hah. I guess it's a little bit weird when you can be so frustrated one day and extremely hopeful the next. That is one thing about life that young kids like me would not understand at the moment (. _.). Our minds are just too solid, that's all.

Yesterday was really fun for me, hanging out with my friends, laughing, talking, dancing. Something I have not been doing for so long I cannot remember. Well, new friends are like that, they give you such a surge of energy (＾□＾*) .

I've been listening to Cat Power et OneRepublic recently. They are really good musicians. Somehow, listening to them will give you a momentary peace of mind. The permanent peace, you have go find yourself (*^^*).

Thank you so much for giving me so much hope this week, friends (*^-^*). I will definitely try my best this week so your effort would not be wasted. And a special thanks to a new friend who has been great support this week. I am dearly grateful \(^ ^)/

그래 나 취했다. 눈물이 마를 때까지 마시자. Happy, happy birthday.

2010-04-13T16:45:00.004+01:00

Kids with guns.

No, just me babbling.

It's been like a century when I last wrote this blog. Every time I tried writing something, normally it's just to grab attention (this time too, actually).

Many things happened while I neglected this little homepage. I got into a new school, found new friends, moved to a new place and had new roommates. It's weird how things work out perfectly for me.

Well, but I guess misery really misses my company so much that he decides to go and find me once again. How good he is at hide-and-seek(exclamation mark).

*Staring at the keyboard for 10 minutes*

I guess he took away my thoughts too.

I do not know how many times I have reprimanded myself to stop idling like this. It's easier said and done. But if I don't take action now, then when?

The problem. My will. It was detached from me and I could not find it anyhow.

I cannot count how many times I wish to be a little more motivated, a little less self-indulged in things that are created for the sole purpose of wasting my time.

'I am, a little bit insecure, a little unconfident'

It has a ring to the ear, isn't it? Mike Shinoda is so talented after all. He's got it all packed, unlike someone we know here.

I cannot count how many people I have disappointed. I dislike that look upon their faces, and I dislike the fact that the only expression I can give them back is a nonchalant poker face.

Dang. Everyday I learn a lot of things. But none of them stay in my mind long enough.

Everyday I meet new people. Some of them bring me through a roller.coaster of emotions. How I treasure those moments. But weirdly enough, in the end, they all become far away from me, despite all my attempts to bring everything back to how it used to be. That feeling is the most vivid to me. FYI, it feels a bit like hunger.

Hah. That was cheesy.

But seriously, pourquoi avons-nous besoin d'amis?
Parce que...?

나도 몰라. 

Probably to atone all the sins we committed in our past lives. -smirks-

Then I must have done a lot of wrong.

Maybe I was Hitler.
Well, without that beard, he looked cool though.

Tsk. Enough rambling. That's it.

Bonsoir. À bientôt.

Here goes...

2009-11-13T23:18:00.004Z

Hah. I can't believe it. The first post I wrote after Os is about a movie. Well, 2 movies actually. 2 movies that I just finished watching 2 hours ago.

First up, 'My Girlfriend is an Agent'.

I honestly didn't expect much out of it, since you know, it's Korean and everything. But surprisingly, the movie was REALLY REALLY awesome x] I thought it was better than any comedy that I've seen this year.

The plot is pretty exciting, and honestly, you probably won't have a moment to 'rest' during the movie. It is fast, but easy to follow. All the characters are pretty much retarded, but they all did a good job in entertaining the audience. So, this is highly recommended (:

The second one, which I watched right after this Korean movie, is the infamous '2012' :]]

Before stating anything, let's read some of the reviews by the critiques:

"Beware of 2010, which works the dubious miracle of almost matching TRANSFORMERS 2 for sheer, cynical, mind-numbing, time-wasting, money-draining, soul-sucking stupidity."

"Only a movie critic without a sense of humour would question whether you could really drive a limo straight through a collapsing skyscraper... or whether the Dalai Lama really owns a pickup truck."

Well, that pretty much summarizes what I want to say about this 'disaster movie' :D To be truthful, 2012 was an utter disappointment for me. A plot with either no or too many protagonists, scattered stories. The movie is totally cliché. There is no hint of creativity here at all (exclamation mark). 2012 is more like an unpleasant compilation of 'better movies about disaster' like War of the Worlds, Knowing, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Poseidon etc. And do you know what makes it even better? It's 158-minute long.

Seriously, just don't watch the damn thing. It'll waste your money and time. And stamina too, if that matters.

Anyway, after this stamina-draining experience, I feel a really strong urge to sleep. So goodnight to you all, and happy holiday (:

Burbye

What the heck is wrong with me?

2009-09-07T14:37:00.005+01:00

I've never been the kind of person who gets excited by celebrities' gossips.

I've never been the kind of person who goes around and talks about who buy what, who marry who.

I've never been the kind of person who... whatever.

I'm always happy when the celebrity I like is happy (these situations include winning lottery, getting married, having another hit, blah blah blah).

So why, why am I getting sad over someone who's getting married and is expecting a baby?

I don't like being such an obsessive fan.

Blah.

Anyway. September holiday is starting. And I have to stop idling like this.

It's a waste of time, really.

It sounds as unreal as unicorn, but there are people who believe in me. And I'd feel guilty if I disappoint them.

It's a worse feeling than knowing that you're pretty much of a loser (and luckily, I'm not).

So, let us try our best, even though there's no end to this fight :]

Let it rain.

2009-08-04T10:43:00.005+01:00

Prelim is almost over. Haven't really tried my best at all.
Feeling a bit regret.
"The moment of regret will later become a moment to regret"
It's impossible not feeling regretful anyway. Oh well.
For the whole two weeks, pretend that I'm really optimistic. That everything is going well.
I'm good at bluffing myself. And others, too. ー♪
I know how my result would be anyway (_ _"). Just don't care about it anymore.
Start working.
You should listen to Epik High. They are awesome.
Not the music I normally listen to but, their music gives me little tingling in the ears in the morning. And I keep whistling them the whole day. And in the end of the day, it becomes melancholic no matter how fun the tune sounds.
I guess it's just me.
Burbye.

All human are gorgeous if we cover our nose

2009-06-18T16:41:00.003+01:00

Nothing. Just found a video buried in my computer.
Thought I can show how absurd I can be.
The song is A Man's First Love Follow Him To His Grave by FT Island.
-sighs- My fan girl mode is on more often now =[

Summer Holiday, can't help but being bored.
Burbye

DaaDaaDaa

2009-06-17T19:16:00.003+01:00

I created a new blog.. The sole purpose is for my parents to read (see such a good kid I am ー♪)
It's here.. http://thetoxin.cyworld.vn/
Feel free to check it out
There's no particular reason why I chose cyworld. I just like it. That's all.
This will be the shortest entry ever.

I'm...

2009-06-02T13:38:00.005+01:00

IN THE RED.

Yes. I'm deep in trouble right now.

I have tons of paper in my room, waiting to be arranged. Why the hell did I mess up my files?

I have Geography Homework that might never be done.

I have a study table that is covered with dust.

I have...

And I have no motivation to fix any of these.

You know this song The Call? It's in Prince Caspian the movie.

It actually was written to describe how I do my Geography homework:

It started out as a feeling ー♪ "I suck at Geography"
Which then grew into a hope ー♪ "I wish I don't have to do the homework"
Which then turned into a quiet thought ー♪ "Maybe I can just do it later.."
Which then turned into a quiet word ー♪ "Well, tomorrow I definitely will do it!"
And then that word grew louder and louder, 'til it was a battle cry
ー♪ (Ms.K ~ "NL, where's your homework?!!")
I'll come back when you call me, no need to say goodbye ー♪ It's actually the voice of my Geography homework ~ "But I DO want to say goodbye to you though （￣へ￣）
....

Okay. That's it. Bye.

And I Saw It On Your Keyboard..

2009-05-31T09:14:00.004+01:00

Don't ask about the title. Just something I'm listening to.

There's something wrong with my keyboard. It's not that sensitive anymore. Especially the 'space'. Dude, it's because you kick it off your bed twice a day. Yeshhhhhh. That's true. But... No buts, it's your fault. Okay okay. If my parents know this, they'll behead me for sure. Well, I think that they actually expect something along the line to happen though.

Anway, today is a Sunday afternoon. I often get irritated when this time of the week comes, since it means weekend's OVER. But this afternoon is special. 'Cause it's the first Sunday afternoon of summer holiday (yay!). And that means no school tomorrow ー♪ Hello? Did you lose your mind? there's school on Tuesday (_ _") Oh right. I forgot about that. There's no holiday for Sec4. 2 extended weeks in summer holiday. After that is revision for Prelim. Practically: no life (._.)

So I decided to enjoy my Sunday afternoon today. By doing something random.
Here it goes...

OBJECT THAT COMPLETES ME

1. My laptop (by which I kicks everyday)

2. My beloved headphone (*ﾟ.ﾟ)(ﾟ.ﾟ*). Got it for $129. Never regret buying it xD

3. My handphone （´∀｀）. I'm so sorry that I've been dropping you whenever I have a chance.
4. My lovely blanket(s). Can't imagine what I would do without them in my freakin' cold room.

5. My library of 2000 songs :]
You need 6 days to finish them （＾＿－）

6. Foooooooooooooood.
Whatever kind it is. Pat, ever since I'm your roommate, I've been eating a great deal more （・∀・）

7. Pen & Notebook. To scrabble stupid stuff.

8. My BEST friend. Who always pay for me, whether it be meals, movie tickets, cab fees...
I just love him soooo much ┛♪┗

9. And last, but most important....

You know what I mean.

Well, I guess that's the end of it. I have to do my laundry now.
Buh bye.

Cet amour résistera-t-il à l'épreuve du temps?

2009-05-18T14:14:00.008+01:00

Don't ask. It's just a random picture

Okay. Maybe I'm just writing this out of impulse, but honestly, I'm really annoyed.
What is wrong with you, really? (_ _")
For one thing, I am pretty sure that we are in a good relationship. And I even thought we understand each other. But what the heck is this?
You call and you call and you call EVERY SINGLE DAY. And then that's it. Out of blue, you disappear. No call, no IM, no .. nothing (!) Call me a worried ward, or self-centered, but really, am I supposed to feel content and think that you're alright and still remember me? I tried calling you, and all I get was a 'beep.. beep.. beep". Isn't that fascinating? =.="
Okay, so eventually I was able to manage not expecting your call anymore. Then suddenly, right, you call again. I was happy, ecstatic, my world seems to be brightened up (=.=" okay okay, it's a bit exaggerating). And then, really, what game are you trying to play? Oh oh, I know. Since you've got an horrid day, it's not fair for me not to have one, isn't it? Before I started anything, you got to your complains, complains, complains. Then, thinking that I haven't been entertained yet, you started to point your arrow at me. Talking about how weird I have been acting, how bad my attitude is (and since when did I have a good attitude? =.=") and how you have been hearing about me from OTHER people. Hello? Is there any trust here?
But maybe it's just because of me. I was sleepy (that's an excuse) and I've been so grumpy when you called. I said things that can hurt badly. I said things that are not reasonable. I said things that when they are being spoken, not only did it hurt you but it hurt me too. 'Cause I know it's not pleasant, it's not helping us, only widening the distance. Being physically distant is bad enough, but it's even worse if it's mentally. My heart keeps telling me, apologize, apologize, but my pride says no.
I guess I've been wrong. I guess I've been selfish. But I'm sure I've been loving you since the moment I started to breath (exaggeration, again). I'm not gonna let my stupid pride brings us any lower. I don't want to be proud and alone.

So tonight, I'll make a small call, hoping you would answer, hoping you would hear my whisper. My little apology might not be enough, but I'll be forward. No more running around the circle. 'Cause love is not negotiation.

A New Beginning

2009-03-25T13:03:00.003Z

Quote of the day: "Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep"

So, this is my new blog. That is to say, I have a few blogs before, but actually never pay attention to such things - it's a pretty waste of time. But oh well, yesterday I realized I have plenty of time to waste, and I suddenly got inspired, and decided to try to do it properly once, and maybe I would have fun in the end. That is also to say, I might not do it properly, since my mind constantly changes about small stuffs as this.

One of the most stupid thing about this post is I wrote down the whole thing before typing it in. In my PHYSICS class.

For some unknown reason, I manage to get an A for it even though I never seem to be able to concentrate on the whole thing (don't take me as a geek, people were born with talents, and I happen to have that one). So I figure, doing this might not be so bad.

Well, let's get to who is this that make me so-called "inspired" to write this thing. His name is ALEX EVANS. I know. That sounds weird. But stop. I actually don't know him, but the guy's pretty famous, I guess.

The story was, yesterday, at about 2am, on account of being so bored and having sleep the whole day, plus having checked all the website I know of, I decided to click the Home Page. Here goes Google. Unconsciously, I just typed some random stuff appeared in my head - which was Alex Evans, and there came in front of me, with no surprise, his blog.

After checking it out, I found it actually quite amusing. The way he "recorded" his life (actually, it's too big of a word, daily routine and such might be better) is pretty impressive, to ME. And I have some kind of 'sudden-realization': you will never know how much you have missed in a day without literally writing it down and think about it. Maybe this blogging thing was not much of a waste at all. And it's fun, learning about people by reading what they write.

You could check out his blog at: http://alexevans.net/

So I guess, this is the end of this. I always find it challenging (not in a good way though) to end something. Therefore, I probably will say "the end" with a big dot in the end lol. That will be easier for me to write and for you to know =]

THE END.

P/S: Another thing that I learn from Alex Evans: teenagers sure are good at complaining =]